Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Restore that pesky virginity in minutes: just $14.90

This is a picture of the Artificial Virginity Hymen from Gigimo. No longer will Muslim women have to worry about getting stoned by there village councils for the sin of riding horses as a maiden. That's right, it's so easy you can restore your virginity just for laughs to freak out your husband of twenty years. Boy. won't he be surprised! As usual, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried and only Jeff seems to be able to find this level of absurdity on the net; he must have a special computer. The ad says,
No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use and no allergic reaction.


* Easy to use
* Place inside vagina 15-20 minutes before intercourse
* Soluble and expandable at body heat
* Clinically proven non-toxic to human
* No side effects, no pain to use, no allergic reaction
* Made in Japan

This item will be shipped from China

Estimated Weight = 0.08 kg
My main concern would be the lines, "Clinically proven non-toxic to human" and "This item will be shipped from China" being so close together. If it's made in Japan, why is it shipped from China, you ask? Well, would anyone really buy this sort of product if it was made in the same country that gave us melamine milk for infants, melamine pet foods for dogs and cats, children's toys garnished with lead paint and baby pajamas that combust when held within three meters of an open flame?

At the top of the ad it says, "Discreet packaging, your mom will never know." which is worrying because the site mostly sells industrial vibrators and anal beads.

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