If anyone still reads this page, sorry for my unexplained absence. I was not kidnapped at box-cutter point and extraordinarily renditioned; there were no black helicopters, men in mirrored sunglasses, dark wizards, or little green men involved. Big Ell and I simply took our young ladies to Siam to see Irena and her new young lady, Ana, who was born at two and a half kilos, on June 30th. Alice and I are now godparents; she is Mei Ba and I am Paw Luung.
I was treated to Fox News at many of the hotels we stayed in and so now I am convinced that America is at war with the forces of evil and North Korea is currently trying to destroy us all by blowing up long range missiles inside its airspace. The best take on what Fox refers to as the Korean Missile Crisis can be found here at the Borowitz Report.
They also claimed that Ken Lay died of a heart attack, but we're pretty sure we saw him disguised as a Hasidic Jew on Chaweng Beach surrounded by lady-boys. I also learned how useless the UN is, that Mexico's democracy works about as well as America's, and even got to see George, numerous times, in his khaki civvys giving speeches to lots of happy soldiers. This is a picture showing Bush on the fourth of July at one of his favorite soap boxes, Fort Bragg.
I thought we might start the summer season here at the Rant with a caption contest. Leave your best attempts in the comments below. The winner will receive a whack of Thai Baht in coins that the airport wouldn't change back for me, and the copy of Ann Coulter's biography I picked up, which appears to be blank.
This image was originally posted at The Globe Online