Friday, July 01, 2005

Happy Canada Day, Folks

This image was originally posted at www.sctvguide.caPurple Mongol

And on the occasion of our nation's 138th birthday here's a still of Sammy Maudlin and his Second Banana: William B William. Bittman's probably railing.

And here is Andy Borowitz's satirical piece on Canada's recent legalization of same sex marriage. What Dr. Sills calls marriage with one 'r'.

U.S. Tightens Both Borders
by Andy Borowitz
June 29th, 2005

One day after the Canadian House of Commons voted to make gay marriages legal across Canada, Mexican President Vicente Fox announced that gay divorces would be legal across Mexico.

In a nationally televised address, President Fox acknowledged that offering gay divorces nationwide in Mexico was a "drastic measure," but added that it was necessary to compete with Canada's bold move.

"Canada stands to reap billions in tourist dollars from couples seeking gay marriages," he said. "But when those marriages go south, we want those tourist dollars to go south, too."

Speaking directly to the gay married population, Mr. Fox said, "When your gay marriage isn't so gay anymore, say 'Ola' to Mexico."

Privately, aides to President Fox said he was "furious" at the Canadians for legalizing gay marriage across the country on Tuesday, since he had been planning for months to offer "quickie" gay marriages across Mexico.

"Vicente was totally pissed at the Canadians when they legalized gay marriages," one aide to Mr. Fox said. "They only did it to make up for the loss of hockey."

At the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said that Canada's decision to offer gay marriages, coupled with Mexico's decision to offer gay divorces, would cause the U.S. to tighten both borders.

"We don't want to turn the United States of America into some kind of thoroughfare for unhappy gay couples sprinting for Splitsville," Mr. Chertoff said, adding that the Department of Homeland Security would raise the alert level to pink.

Elsewhere, the Pentagon announced that it was launching a new offensive in Iraq called "Operation Stay There Indefinitely."

This image was originally posted at www.sctvguide.caPurple Mongol

1 comment:

BigEll said...

Happy Canada Day! I just spent Canada Day filming and getting ready to celebrate/film a Thanksgiving celebration in Taiwan on the 2nd of July. Don't ask. Johnny LaRue would be happy to see the spread for this mock celebration. I am hoping nobody throws bread sticks while I carve the bird. Staging a celebration for the most imperialist of all American celebrations has me yearning for a cold Grasshopper and some alberta beef. The fact that the gentle rant is participating is cause for concern as I am sure he knows a pick-up truck full of Indian jokes to spice up the proceedings. What do Indians call Thanksgiving? insert punch-line.