Saturday, February 26, 2005

G. I. Joe gets free 'E'

I had to read the headline, Ecstasy trials for combat stress, in Thursday's Guardian a few times, as I kept thinking I was getting it mixed up. Then I read the first paragraph,
American soldiers traumatised by fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan are to be offered the drug ecstasy to help free them of flashbacks and recurring nightmares.

Okay, so G.I. Joe gets free 'E'. Fine. But wouldn't it have been a better idea to dose the lawmakers that sent those kids into that hell, in the first place? Before any of those nightmares ever began?

The problem now is that these returning sons and daughters are going to need a heck of a lot of 'e'. We could run out. The Gentle Rant wants to make sure the world is using its remaining 'E' supplies wisely, and offers this advice for free,

Before we completely deplete our remaining world 'e' supplies, make sure the following 'people" are well and truly filled with the stuff, for everyone's good...

1. George W Bush, the usurper, and his posse
2. Tony Blair (40 mins. before his next lying spree in the Commons)
3. Ariel Sharon, the Butcher of Sabra and Chatila
4. Pres. Karimov of Uzbekistan (dude who boils people alive)
5. The General Staffs of the Colombian, Burmese, Congolese, Indonesian, Israeli, Russian, Chinese, Turkish, Saudi Arabian, Egyptian, South African, and American military forces.
6. Kim Jong Il of N. Korea (probably won't feel it)
7. The heads of the big media organizations (they write the lies that make the whole world kill)
8. The CEOs of the 'Fortune Five Hundred"
9. The 5 U.S. Supreme Court Justices that began this latest series of charades five years ago.
10. And you might as well send a truckload or so by the TGR offices just in case we have left out anyone particularly vile and don't remember until later...

1 comment:

graham said...

Dude, imagine the Walton family getting introspective on E. Any one of them could ponder shaking a few billion dollars off the toggle on their shoelace and be like, "Why is there no promiscuity in the world today?" Then thinking, "okay, okay, I've got it: I'll cure aids."
They could pull the Ted Turner brand of philantropy and publicly donate the unneeded and less thought about billions clinging to their shoelace toggle like a dandelion seed... the world would embrace the Walmart concept and publicly herald the virtues of the ruiners of capitalism. End result? The masses would adorn Walmart with wreaths of money and the Waltons would accumulate more money than the Ukraine, Poland, and Luxemburg combined.
If only the dicks of the world got together at de drug club...